Things have been tough over the last few months. My attitude started slipping backwards, so of course the progress did as well. I just started feeling resentful and ripped off.
We get upset because life isn't fair when we are under the illusion that its meant to be.
So i've been trying to get back on board with feeling grateful for what i DO have, rather than what i DON'T. Because when i really think about it, I have a lot to be thankful for. Everything wrong in my marriage is fixable.
I'm trying to focus on those things. And focus on things about him personally that attract me.
I saw my surgeon and i have to lose 20 kilos before seeing him again [about 40lb]. So my diet has drastically been changing. I've lost 4 kilos in 3 weeks. I think John will make changes if he sees me make sustaining changes - rattle him out of his comfort zone.
We broke the dry spell and had the first dinky pop we've had in 13 months, last month. We were both pretty drunk and happy and it just happened. It was a quicky but it was nice.
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